Requiem for a Man-Cave Part 2

Where was I? Ah yes, Square One. Apparently the prospective room in my basement was ALSO vital to gardening. You know, I'm no expert...but I'm pretty sure this isn't all necessary just to have a garden. If fluorescent lamps were that vital, how were gardens created in THE MIDDLE AGES!?! Still, I found myself at another impasse. But, an light-bulb of inspiration came from the most unlikely of sources....my beloved.

Up until this point, I was pretty sure that she was anti-Man Cave, but then she said.... "You know, we're going to have a build an underground root cellar...we could just build it twice as big and make half of it a Man-Cave."

I nearly collapsed with Joy. Seriously? An man-cave that was an actual cave?

Was she suggesting I could have my own underground lair? A place that could not only serve as a venue for the viewing of violent sports, but also serve as a place of refuge if my quasi-paranoid friends are right about the impending Zombie Apocalypse/Coup d'etat? Immediately, I began planning my lair. And clearly, now that it was an option, I wanted something beyond a TV and a tribute to The Duke...But what else? A fully-stocked bar? A walk-in humidor....An Octagon for the settling of disputes?

But than I got to thinking, which is to say someone....a "friend" of mine...began using silly concepts like truth and logic to ruin my glee. Apparently, such an underground edifice would require a bathroom; because it were used for say, a Super Bowl party, then everyone would have to traverse the snow-covered muck that is my backyard to relieve themselves. Also, a heat-source of some kind would be required, and my initial idea of just burning wood wouldn't work...lest we all wore oxygen tanks.

So, it looks as though the Man-Cave will be added to a list of great ideas that never were....right along with injectable coffee and vitamin-infused donuts. If only someone would recognize my genuis.....